I published a new post today, so I guess I’m still writing. I don’t intend to do so daily. Perhaps whenever I feel like it.
If you’d like to continue receiving my most thoughtful opinions that can’t be shared on social media, enter your email address below:
That was the title of my newsletter this week. Enter your email below and I’ll send it to you:
(Note you’ll be singing up to get my newsletter each Friday.)
(I changed my mind. I write to learn.)
Accountability indicates blame: You did that; that was wrong; don’t do that again or I will take away what you love. Accountability changes behavior. Accountability also inspires fear; fear inspires anger; anger inspires distrust.
The result: Think of a dog that bites.
Responsibility indicates learning: We did that; that didn’t work; we are in this together, so what can we learn here? Responsibility changes behavior. Responsibility also inspires teamwork; teamwork inspires connection; connection inspires love.
The result: Think of a dog that can walk next to its owner off-leash.
Don’t worry, I’m okay. Just a little nibble on my right thigh.
At first I was infuriated with the dog. But then I realized it’s just a dog. How can I rationally blame a dog for biting my thigh? The dog was just acting on instinct. The dog probably has a history of being threatened, and a threatened animal attacks on instinct.
Then I thought of the person the leash was attached to: shouldn’t she treat this dog better? Make any attempt to train it? I mean, does she do nothing but yell and hit this dog all day?
Then I thought of the girl’s parents. It was then I realized this inquiry would go back indefinitely, and it would become difficult to blame anyone for anything.
Everything just is what it is. Everyone’s doing their best. At least begin with that.
And people who care do not make a big fuss about their caring, kind of the way Bill Gates doesn’t make a big fuss about how rich he is.
Unwise people have much to say, because they are loud inside.
Wise people have little to say, because they are quiet inside. Everything Lao Tzu said is in the Tao Te Ching. It is brief.
It only takes a moment to distinguish a wise person from a mere smart person.
Follow smart people to gain status; follow wise people to gain peace.
It’s not necessarily good to get what you want. Sometimes you are not ready for what you want. Sometimes what you want is the wrong thing for you.
From T.S. Eliot’s East Coker:
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
It’s possible that we can’t get what we want until we free ourselves from wanting it, and that to get it would be the worst thing for us.
Perfectionism is fear hiding in plain sight.
Anything worth doing cannot be done perfectly.
Perfectionists tend to avoid what’s worth doing because what cannot be done perfectly evokes their fear.
The perfectionist must confront her fear if she’s to have any chance in this life.
It’s not fun to watch a business die. But everything dies eventually, whether by choice or by force.
Why did Wing City die first? Quick, answer this question:
“What’s the difference between Wing City and Applebees?” Identical businesses favor the one with more resources.
A business can change, or stagnate. Death becomes it either way.
People eat because they don’t want to feel shame.
It’s hard for me to understand how adding shame to an already shamed existence helps.
We want to break the cycle of shame, not add to it.