This is the advice that Jeremy from Go Curry Cracker would give his younger self. It should give solace to anyone who’s made herself feel she’s falling behind in the self-imposed “boyfriend game:”
“I would not have gotten married at 20-years-old. Don’t do that; you don’t even know yourself until you’re 35.” (ChooseFI 018, 1:01:50).
It is not unlike Alain de Botton’s quip about marriage in his book, The Course of Love:
“Marriage: a hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully omitted to investigate.” (p. 45).
And as I’ve blogged before, de Botton’s idea on loneliness is an eminently helpful way to think about the motivation behind any relationship:
“Loneliness can provoke an unhelpful rush and repression of doubt and ambivalence about a potential spouse. The success of any relationship should be determined, not just by how happy a couple are to be together, but by how worried each partner would be about not being in a relationship at all.” (p. 42).