Give me a boyfriend for Christmas

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

It’s entirely possible that a boyfriend cannot be given to you right now. However, you can give yourself a gift this Christmas that is deeper and more long-lasting than a boyfriend ever could be: patience.

The best description I know of patience comes from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Wherever You Go There You Are:

“(Patience) is remembering that things unfold in their own time. The seasons cannot be hurried. Spring comes, the grass grows by itself. Being in a hurry usually doesn’t help, and it can create a great deal of suffering–sometimes in us, sometimes in those who have to be around us.

Patience is an ever present alternative to the mind’s endemic restlessness and impatience. Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger. It’s the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it. 

[…]

We know that things unfold according to their own nature. We can remember to let our lives unfold in the same way. We don’t have to let our anxieties and our desire for certain results dominate the quality of the moment, even when things are painful.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *