Losing friends

I do not keep in touch with my friends from high school or college. Our hyper-connected world tells me I should feel bad about that. I don’t.

I feel bad that I don’t know the people who live in the apartment next to me. I feel bad that I don’t have better relationships with my coworkers. I feel bad that I’m not serving our student-athletes as well as I could be. But no, I do not feel bad that my college friend living in Colorado has not heard from me.

I get more value from spending five minutes talking to a coworker in her office than I do from two hours of ‘liking’, ‘tagging’, and ‘commenting’ on Facebook. The former makes me feel better, the later makes me feel worse.

Leo Tolstoy nailed this long ago in his short story, “The Emperor’s Three Questions”:

“Remember that there is only one important time and that is now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future? The most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life.” 

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