The female brain processes anger differently than a male’s.
First, the female feels anger. Second, the emotion is moved to her prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex, where a decision is made about whether or not the anger will be expressed. There is no second step in the male brain; he feels anger and he expresses it.
Why the second step for females? Scientists speculate that it could be an evolutionary mechanism to prevent her child’s father from leaving her. It could be to maintain relationships with other women to help raise her child. Without these relationships in Stone Age times it would mean certain death for her and her child.
Today there is virtually no risk of dying if you lose a relationship, but it still feels like that.
A good first step is to understand why your brain is wired for relationships. A good second step is to understand that maybe, with a little caution, it’s okay to express your anger.