Feelings are notoriously fickle.
Feelings arise from thoughts, which perpetuate more feelings, which perpetuate more thoughts. If you watch your thoughts closely you’ll notice they arise out of nowhere, and, if witnessed rather than believed, return to the nowhere they came from.
It’s the believing that gets us into trouble.
It might pay to start a practice of watching your thoughts. Some need help from a teacher to do this, from a counselor, or a psychiatrist, but it’s a fact that random thoughts are creating your ultimately random feelings.
Ugly is not a fact; it’s a feeling.