Six steps to order a drink from Starbucks

1) “Venti”–literally meaning “twenty”–should not be part of your order. Nobody needs twenty ounces of anything besides water.

2) Be very careful if your order is more than one word. “Coffee”, “Tea”, “Americano”, and “Latte” tend to be healthy options. “Iced Cinnamon Dolce Latte” and “Double Chocolaty Chip Creme Frappuccino” are not.

3) In fact, if you ever see someone with a Frappuccino you have my permission to smack them across the face.

4) And if you need a dome-shaped lid to house your drink, you have too much drink.

5) Be extra wary if you have to use the word “with” at any point during your order. “With honey”, or “With whipped cream” is a sign you’re addicted to sugar.

6) If you wouldn’t buy it with money, don’t buy it with points.