Not partying

Everything, everything is another chance to practice.

Notice the desire to party; notice the desire to lose control; notice the desire to socialize. Just notice, and nothing else.

Something will emerge that’s better than a drunken stupor.

Retention is just loving students

Even when they screw up; perhaps especially when they screw up.

From Sam Harris:

“In your relationships with people–your spouse, your kids–your job, really, is just to love them. That’s your fundamental job. It’s not change them, improve them, coerce them into doing what you think they should do to live better lives.” (“Moral Illusions“, 58:00).

Alcohol and men

The Harvard Grant Study, published in 2017, is the largest ever conducted on human happiness. It took over 300 nineteen-year-old men and tracked them for 75 years to find out what factors produced happiness and unhappiness.

The number one factor predicting unhappiness, leading to failed marriages, career disaster, and early death? Alcohol use.

Other interesting tidbits from the study:

  • Aging liberals have more sex than aging conservatives.
  • Warmth of relationships matters more toward financial success than intelligence.
  • Warmth of relationships with mothers is correlated with financial success, work effectiveness, and less risk of dementia.

Feeling lost

I suspect that the felt sense of being lost is a product of thinking, and that the way through is a complete acceptance of it; a rejoicing in it, even.

There is no book, podcast, new job or relationship that will cure feeling lost. There is only giving up the story, spontaneously generating a new one.

Twitter mobs

Via Urban Dictionary:

“Sometimes shortened to TOM, the Twitter Outrage Mob is a large group of people on social media sites (having originated on Twitter, specifically) that attempt to cancel others by use of harassment, bullying, shaming, and/or otherwise silencing those who merely disagree with their own beliefs that they force upon others. They spread falsified information that easily gains traction online and usually results in the individual or company in which they are pressuring to conform to their beliefs. They are the ones who are largely behind Western Cancel Culture.”

Twitter mobs remind me of that disturbing scene from The Dark Knight Rises:

Ghosting

I was stunned the first time I was ghosted. I couldn’t believe someone would do that.

The second time was easier, and by the third time it was normal. Soon I started ghosting others.

Screens race us to the bottom of human relationships, and since screens aren’t going away we’re going to have to intentionally race in the opposite direction.

Student-shaming

Students change their bad behavior when someone they look up to shames them for it.

Students do not change their bad behavior when someone they don’t know shames them for it–an anonymous Twitter account, for instance. That just makes them angry.

Just be in a good mood

Nobody needs to know that you’re stressed and having a bad day. When asked how you’re doing nobody wants to hear “Meh” or “Decent” or the very worst expression humanity has invented, “Livin’ the dream,” for now, not only do we need to hear about your bad mood, but we also get to know that you’d rather be somewhere else and that you’re going to attempt to degrade your experience with sarcasm.

Just say “I’m amazing,” and maybe you’ll start feeling amazing.

I can already feel your vitriol: This is not to say it’s not important to talk about negative feelings, nor that it’s not okay to not be okay. It’s certainly not in reference to real mental health disorders. These are different topics.

It’s to address those everyday experiences, those habits that become a lifetime of underwhelm.